Surgery and treatment
We are time warping again back to March 2018....
The night prior to surgery the GYN oncologist called and said that my CA-125 was elevated at 537, making the laparoscopic surgery too risky due to the possibility of the cysts bursting (normal markers are <35.). Plan B would now be the course of action. Surgery went well, and when I woke up with my husband at my side the doctor confirmed that I have Ovarian Cancer, however she did not think the cancer spread outside the ovaries, but would know more after the biopsies. While I was still under anesthesia, the doctor spoke with my husband, and he had the difficult task of letting our children about the cancer diagnosis. Following the biopsies, my cancer was staged at a 2A since some cancer was found in my fallopian tube.
My stay in the hospital was a blur, but the medical staff was always very helpful and supportive. Remember my IBS, well my bowels did not want to function properly following the anesthesia so instead I began projectile vomiting – I feel so bad for the nurses! Picture the Exorcists and you have a pretty good idea of what the nurses endured. Finally, after four days in the hospital I was able to keep food down and go home! My recovery at home went smoother than expected since I was in the hospital longer than most – and the doctor insisted I walk at least 10 laps around the ward each day!
My chemotherapy started on April 16, 2018 with six rounds of carboplatin and taxol scheduled three weeks apart. My daughter was able to come home the first week to help out. (My son and fiancee visited for later treatments in July.) Chemotherapy was tough, I won’t lie. Body aches, nausea, neuropathy, and extreme tiredness were the norm. After my first treatment my body ached so I thought I nice hot bath would make me feel better – but my feet were on fire and I experienced my first bout of neuropathy (which I have to this day.) That third night was the toughest (steroids helped the first two nights.) I couldn’t decide what part of my body hurt more. I had rescheduled our trip between my first and second chemo treatment and had a crying fit thinking there was no way I would be able to go anywhere, much less out of bed! But, after experiencing the first round I was able to gauge what I would go through on what day, knowing that by day five I would start getting back to normal. Understanding the stages of what my body was going through helped me see the light at the end of the tunnel. I created my own relaxation mantra – Healthy, happy, and relaxed. This got me to a positive space. I am not much for pain killers and prefer not to take them unless absolutely necessary.
I did take the trip with my son to Cambodia and Vietnam in May 2018, between chemo treatments one and two, and had a wonderful time – the trip was the whole reason I actually went to the doctor – so we HAD to go! My son took very good care of me since my white blood count was low and I had to be careful of any infection. (The main picture on my blog is from the sunset at Angkor Wat in Cambodia.)
My last chemo treatment had to be delayed almost a month due to low white blood/neutrophil counts, so exhausting to go in, do blood tests and be sent home again and again. I ended up getting two neupogen shots – which created severe muscle aches – but got my numbers up for my last chemo treatment on September 21, 2018. My follow-up in October showed low CA-125 (cancer markers) and no residual ovarian cancer.
This has been quite a journey. I have learned so much about myself:
1) The importance of staying positive, looking at the good in all things (because you know there is always a little good in there somewhere)
2) Facing your fears and shadows in your life (staring them down sometimes too) and choosing to focus on the light.
3) Allow yourself to grieve – to the you that once was, the innocence lost
My favorite quote – a Maori proverb – which I now proudly have tattooed on my arm where there was once IV bruising – reads “Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.”
Spending time enjoying nature continues to be an inspiration. I look back and remember when I would go for solo walks and blast Grace Vanderwaal's song "Clearly" in my I-phone. My favorite part is the second verse: There's a world outside my door, I force my feet down to the floor, I'm gonna make it out, take a breath and say a pray, find the strength in my despair, it's not gonna take me down. Check out the video: http://smarturl.it/Clearly
I share this story at medical schools with the Ovarian Cancer Research Alliance’s Survivors Teaching Students program. It helps to bring a personal experience of cancer to future medical professionals with the hope for quicker diagnosis, and ultimately some type of cancer screening. I have found these strong women an inspiration and a great support group as well. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNxwmeOFy84)
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