Resilience

To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.

Henri Bergson

Zip, zap, zoom. That is what it feels like in my head right now – thoughts bouncing all over the place – like one of those super balls we had as kids. You see, I miss swimming. I miss my routine. Swimming was when I could really relax and let my mind go. And that is the time random thoughts would come into my mind for the blog. A little whisper in my head.

I also miss seeing Mary Ella, my 83 year old friend that swims at the same time as I do. She has a bright pink polka-dotted cover-up and uses a snorkel masks as she swims. She used to dive great depths, but had to give it up because of her pacemaker. A great example of adapting to change - resilience. Just like a feisty senior– it is not Mary Ellen, but Mary Ella. I won’t respond if you don’t call me by my correct name – ask my grammar school teachers. Missing our conversations oh feisty one!

Sorry, lost my train of thought again!! Searching to quiet my mind, I found an old book on my daughter’s bookshelf “Things I Want My Daughters to Know.” I gave her this book back in 2009 when she turned sweet sixteen. I’m thinking she has probably never cracked it open, so I began thumbing through the pages, looking for little tidbits of knowledge and inspiration for myself.

I started reading the chapter about change. It mentions that a rigid, inflexible branch snaps off in a hurricane, but a flexible branch - one that bends with the wind will survive. This reminded me of a Ted Talk from Aimee Mullens I listened to when starting the curriculum with A Fresh Chapter. So, I dragged out my journal. Yep, that is it – that is what I need to hear today. The prompt in my journal is: Has the adversity of cancer made you more resilient? My response was a drawing of multi-colored frayed rubber bands overlapping each other (my very rudimentary drawing above!!)

This drawing signifies what I learned from Aimee Mullen’s story. She mentioned that as a child she had to use resistance bands in physical therapy. These were a cause for great frustration and pain. Her wise doctor turned the tables on her, and told her she was so strong that she would probably break those bands. This helped reshape her frustration by declaring her to be powerful. Wow! Think about that a minute. Reshape your frustrations – not looking for a way to side-step the adversity in your life. But, to open ourselves up to the adversity – allow the stretching of those resistance bands in our lives. Not "overcoming" the adversity, but working through it. What can we learn from adversity? How can we adapt, bend, change, grow, and ultimately transform our lives? For it is not the strongest that survive, but those that are most adaptable to change.

When I did the drawing last year, I was a survivor of Ovarian cancer, and thought that my battle was over and won. But fast-forward and I am again in the midst of treatment and uncertainty. Again, I am that branch bending and swaying in the hurricane winds that surround me. Add to that the extra measures I need to take due to the Covid-19 virus. It is not very comforting that the new CDC guidelines specifically calls out “cancer patient undergoing treatment.” Trust me, I am taking every precaution to stay safe and continue to hunker down in the comfort of my home.

I again have the opportunity to embrace the adversity, lean into it and take it as an opportunity for growth. Time to dance with adversity – to treat is as a close friend instead of a fierce enemy. Learn from the discomfort and create confidence in myself. I am powerful, I am strong, I am loved. In these uncertain times I can focus on kindness, gratefulness and love. Reaching out to friends and family with love and a caring heart. I can weather this hurricane, and so can you. Yes, life has been disrupted for everyone due to Covid-19. But rather than being angry, join me and accept the adversity and sway with the wind.

I found another great quote about adversity: “You don't have to like it. You don't have to enjoy it. But, you do have to believe in it and the role it plays in turning a storm of energy into a true source of strength. It is the learning that comes from the adversity that creates the opportunity for growth.”