I was all set to write a post about starting the A Fresh Chapter program and share some insights, but I experienced a little hiccup in my journey. A visual I keep with me from my travel to Cambodia last year is that of the Lotus Flower. It rises from the murkiest of water and mud to bring beauty.
Remember those wise words from my previous post?
1) The importance of staying positive, looking at the good in all things
2) Facing your fears and shadows in your life and choosing to focus on the light
Good thing I wrote those down, because I needed them this week!
I go in every three months for blood-work and a checkup. All of my tests have been going well until my July 2019 exam, where they found polyps in my remaining lady part. The doctor wanted to wait a month to see if there were any changes, and then do a biopsy.
I went in on Monday, August 26th and my doctor did a biopsy in the clinic, and I headed home. About half an hour later I started bleeding profusely every 20 minutes. I figured it would slow down, but it never did – so back to the hospital. They tried to stop the bleeding, but decided they would have to operate to put in stitches because of the spasms.
To say this was scary would be an understatement, and I won’t get into the gore of the blood loss experience, but they estimate I lost one liter of blood. The doctor wrapped me in sheets “like a burrito” and put me in a wheelchair to get me from the clinic to the operating room. You gotta love the doctors and nurses with their funny antidotes at a time like this. Into the operating room where an army of nurses, anesthesiologists, and doctors hovered over me asking a million questions and prepping for surgery. I passed out – not sure if from the blood loss, or just plain fear. Having a full pit crew of people waiting for you at the OR rushing you into surgery was like being in a medical emergency TV show.
After surgery, no more bleeding, but I stayed overnight in the hospital for observation. Miraculously, they didn’t need to do a blood transfusion as my blood count started coming up on its own.
How to I put into practice my wise words….hmmm…
1) I look back at the positive nurses, doctors and staff that helped me. Seriously, wrap me like a burrito! And the OR staff – joking they needed to change tires too with the pit crew I had around me! My loving husband so very worried yet right there by my side telling me it will be alright.
2) Facing my fears – that was pretty inescapable. Fear of what was happening to my body that I had no control over. I have never seen so much blood in my life! My relaxation mantra helped quiet my mind until the rush in the OR when the fear of dying crept in. I wish I could be wise and say I was overcome by calm, but I wasn’t. However, I KNEW I was in the right place where they could fix me as I went under anesthesia. That in itself was calming.
Happily, I am home now recovering, and processing the past few days. Got the test results back and the polyps are, as my doctor put it "totally" benign.
Over the weekend I started the resources from “A Fresh Chapter" Program and one of the webinars was on Dancing with Adversity…I really like that! Adversity does not define you, but you can create a deeper sense of self by embracing adversity – choosing to learn from it instead of running from it. With your adversity what can you contribute? What positive energy can we each bring to the world? What potential is waiting in you to bring out?
I have a dear friend that lost her husband to cancer a few years ago. Through this tragedy in her life she has become an even more caring, loving, spiritual and compassionate person. Always helping others with a kind word and advise from wisdom gained by dancing with adversity. Another beautiful lotus flower rising from the mud.
Oh, Joanne! What a horrifying experience! I love how you can go back to your words of wisdom, though, and come out with something meaningful. I'm so happy and relieved that the polyps were benign. That must have been a huge relief to you! Take care and keep posting!