Remember last month I wrote about how we are all connected – like the hidden pathways of the tree roots in the forest. Listen in your heart to the little whispers – when someone pops into your head out of the blue. Maybe like the trees, they are sending out signals for support. You just need to be quiet long enough to hear them.
Well, I had the pleasure of experiencing that support this past week. As always, life is a roller coaster ride, and I’ve had my share of ups and downs lately.
My bloodwork was done last Friday to make sure my body was recovered enough for my third chemo treatment. But, my counts were low, which always puts me in a tailspin. I get mad at my body, mad at myself for not bouncing back quickly enough. Having to delay chemo isn’t that big of a deal, but somehow in my mind it is. So, I decided to change my mind-set. Instead of getting mad, I decided to become a “peacemaker” in the battle of my cells. Changing the way I thought about my blood cells and bone marrow – encouraging them to grow and thrive and rebound to their healthy state by loving them, instead of having a fighting stance with the cancer. I know that sounds really, really silly – but guess what, when I went in on Monday my counts increased at a higher rate than ever before and I could continue treatment.
But, like I said, this is part of my roller coaster week. All set up in the chemo infusion ward and wait, and wait and wait. There was some computer communication error between the ward and the pharmacy and by 11 a.m., my drugs were not yet released. Since I have a 6+ hour drip, there was no way I could have chemo that day, so home I went.
When I got home there was a package waiting for me from one of my beautiful Peru Tribe members, Kate. She apologized for sending the package late since she had it since Christmas – but you know what? It was perfect timing! I needed that encouragement, that light, the love and support right then. Hello – unicorn socks are the bomb!
So, off I go on Tuesday to get my chemo treatment, wearing my new unicorn socks, of course. Everything was going fine with my 3-hour drip of Taxol. Then onto my 3-hour drip of carboplatin. That is when the roller coaster took a dip. I had an allergic reaction after less than an hour and the treatment had to be stopped. They monitored me for a while, then sent me home. I will now have to do my last four treatments as a hospital in-patient for 24-hour slow drip and monitoring of the allergic reaction. Not fun, but hey I can catch up on my reading and Netflix!
When I got home on Tuesday there was a beautiful get well card from my dear friend Gilda from New York. Again, how did she know that today of all days, I would need some encouragement, love and support? The simple words of hoping this cards finds you in good spirits - created that positive energy and lifted my spirits!
These incidences really speak to the human connections we have. The tribes we have created in our lives, even those that may be far away are still very connected in our hearts and souls. And, when we are still and mindful, we can reach out with compassion and understanding. Taking the time to listen to our souls we can hold other’s suffering and transform it into compassion, finding a way to shower a little happiness in their lives. I am grateful that I have many friends that send encouraging messages.
I surely do not want to be only the receiver of this compassion and understanding and am now practicing silence each day to reach down to my roots to listen for signals of those that need love and encouragement. Sending a prayer of encouragement to those in need of support.
Last weekend, not realizing the circle of love it started, I made out Valentines cards in an effort to bring light and love to the chemo infusion ward today. Hoping the Valentines cards for the patients and nurses remind them they are supported and loved.
Thank you all for being part of my tribe – together we can share joy, sadness, peace, love, grief, and serenity. All emotions that draw us together and free us to move forward with love.
I would like to dedicate this post to Debbie, my dearest friend from High School who lost her battle with cancer last week. She was the sweetest soul and best friend anyone could ask for, loving and compassionate to all. I know that her legacy and light lives on in all of us privileged to have known her.
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