….Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. Kahlil Gibran
….Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful. Thich Nhat Hanh
….You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful. Amy Bloom
Time to examine my definition of beauty. We all see the beauty of a sunrise or sunset, and beauty in flowers and nature. But what about people, how to you see beauty in people? Of course, we were programmed by media and honestly by our upbringing (thanks 60’s and 70’s) that there are the beautiful people and not so beautiful people based simply on outward appearances. Growing up I always felt very inadequate when it came to outward beauty. Having a nick name of knock-kneed, pigeon-toed, toothpick did not help matters! But as I grew older, I learned to accept myself for who I am, flaws and all. Never one for a lot of primping, make-up or the perfect hairdo (although I will admit to the Dorothy Hamil wedge in the 70's), I created my own style – what make me feel good. Because you know, that is where beauty comes from. Beauty radiates from the inside out, from being happy, at peace with yourself, smiling, and enjoying life. As Coco Chanel said – beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.
So why now has beauty been stuck in my head? You see, my hair is falling out due to chemo. The clumps of hair that I can pull off my head is actually kinda cool. I know that sounds really, really weird, but it is like a shedding or cleansing feeling. Honestly, it was not so exciting the first time around - lots of tears were shed in 2018. But now, I am feeling powerful, ready to kick cancer's butt again. The cool thing about losing my hair is that it is a signal to me that the chemo is doing it’s job. It is killing all those nasty cancer cells, and those hair follicles are just innocent bystanders that get blasted in the attack. And that my friend is a very positive sign! This afternoon I get my hair shaved as it is much easier than picking up hair all over the house - although honestly there is not much left! Say goodbye to my chemo curls (my straight hair grew in curly after last chemo) and hello to a new bold and beautiful bald me!
Being bald is a pretty vulnerable experience. Luckily my head isn’t some odd shape, and is pretty round. It is also very freeing to be bald – what you see is what you get! No hiding here! I do have awesome caps I wear in public, as it is January in Ohio and my noggin gets chilled easily. I also got the coolest swim cap – because you don’t want to scare the children in the pool area, right! You know those old style caps with the bright flowers? Well, mine isn’t the full-on flower one, I was so tempted, but just couldn't do it – but it does have 3 bright colored 60's flowers on the side. Using it this morning, I felt like I was Esther Williams - the movie star who made "aquamusical" movies in the 40's and 50's. I told you it was retro!
While chatting with a friend recently, she mentioned when she lost her hair from chemo, she enjoyed being outdoors with the breeze, likening the breeze to a whisper of new possibilities. I really like that – the breeze being a whisper of new possibilities! I am ready to embrace the new possibilities, to embrace my baldness and focus on the inner beauty in me, in my friends, family and in those I meet. Because you know, we are all beautiful works of art, each of us a one of a kind masterpiece! Let us learn to appreciate ourselves and each other as unique and beautiful works of art.
….Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes.. Sophia Loren
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