Circle of Women

A few months ago I registered for a winter retreat at the historic Amity House (no, not the haunted one) in the Richfield Heritage Preserve.  I have always wanted to enjoy the park after dark, and my dear yoga nature-lover friend was hosting the event.  It felt too perfect!  Well, you know what happened next, the passing of my beloved puppy and the start of chemo again, and this was to be held four days after my first infusion.  I felt up to it by Thursday and made the decision to go, I am so glad I did!

On Friday evening we trekked in the deep snow in the dark to enjoy time by a roaring fire.  A time to set intentions for the weekend, setting down that which no longer serves us and allowing a small seed of reflection to quietly lay metaphorically under the snow.  Allowing time to reset and refresh and enjoy the beauty of winter’s embrace.  The silence as we were surrounded by the snow covered trees, the swirling of the snow on our faces, the warmth of the fire with the crunch as we walked through virgin snow. But, on the way back to the house, the trek seemed even more difficult and I almost stopped and cried...wanting to roll up into a little ball… what was I thinking? I can’t do this! I’m exhausted and have no stamina, so much doubt crept in on that dark path.  But, I reminded myself to take one step at a time, no judgment, no pressure, just slowly walking the path. By the time we returned to the house my confidence returned. I was surrounded by a beautiful supportive community of women, of course I can do this! We enjoyed the remainder of the evening, making snow angels to watch over the house, and I sunk into the warmth and plushness of a very cozy bed.

Saturday was amazing to say the least!  The meals were all thoughtfully prepared and the conversations around the table enriching.  Having a group of multi-generational women is so fulfilling.  So much sharing of wealth in stories, adventures and laughter. Seeing the similarities come out in our prompted activities was something you could not plan for, but comes organically when surrounded by like-minded women.  Time spent in yoga, hiking, meditation, crafting of sensory bath jars, and who doesn’t love a dance party!!  Yes, I’ve been known to dance in the kitchen, but this was next level.  Such pure unfettered enjoyment! 

We did an exercise called “black out poetry.”  You are given a printed article and instructed to circle words that catch your eye, or jump out at you.  With no other instructions, we did just that.  We then used those words to create a poem. I adore my poem, although my hubby and son think I am nuts, I think it really speaks to who I am:

Quiet soaking sensory

aroma of crunching ease.

A forest silence

and blackberry healing.

The time set aside for creativity and stillness really refreshed my soul.  I was so excited to make a snow angel circle – can I tell you it was fantastic!  There was some trepidation, but we all did it!  I had the perfect view of the circle from my bedroom window and enjoyed gazing down at it as the sun set. We ended Saturday evening with a fire ceremony.  After a meditation we each walked to the fire and let go of whatever was still heavy in our hearts by writing it on paper, then releasing it to the fire allowing it to rise in the smoke. On our walk back to the house we were graced with a gorgeous clear sky with stars twinkling and dancing with us along the path. A beautiful way to end a perfect day!

On Sunday we ended the event with a return hike to the fire pit and lit little acorn candles to symbolize the embers we lit within ourselves this weekend. The childlike joy and wonder of nature's pace. We were reminded to care for that ember in ourselves with stillness. We don't have to force growth, just allow the conditions for it. The quiet start to my mornings now begin with writing "today will be my peaceful day" three times and saying it out loud. Keeping that little ember lit.

What is more healing than a circle of women? As I sit here after chemo infusion number three I carry the strength, laughter, support and love of all the gorgeous goddesses that grace my life - I am so blessed!